Friday, March 21, 2014

7 reasons to stop HATING WOMEN!

7 reasons to stop hating women!

Let’s face it. It is the unwritten truth. The real war on women if fought isn’t political.  It isn’t waged by men.  The real war on women, the “silent killer” is brought to you by you guessed itother women.  It must stop.  Make no mistake, it is killing us, and worse, leaving behind a wake of broken girls. It is revolting.  Sisterhood is being destroyed one girl at a time.

1.  Stop fighting over men.

Have you ever noticed we are the only species that fight over males? Why?  There are enough men to go around, and any man you need to fight another woman for, is not a man you need.  We use the term “home-wrecker” to describe women who break up our relationships. But the truth is, no woman can steal a man that isn’t  willing.  If two women are fighting over a man’s love or attention, perhaps it is in fact, his fault.  Stop blaming women.  He is playing both of you.  He has not made a choice. Clearly, he just isn’t that into either of you. Let him go. If a man chooses you, you will know it.  You will not need to fight for him.  And that is the only kind of man worth having.  Don't cast pearls before swine.  Do not fight over garbage.

2.  Stop competing with each other. We are all amazing!

Life is not a contest.  It isn't a winner take all scenario.  Women are not competition.  Let’s face it. There will always be a woman with better eyes, a more loving husband, perfect children, or a  nicer figure. There will always be women that have something you do not. There will be women who are talented in ways you are not.  So what? Their talents are theirs, not yours.  You have your own and are no less valuable than another woman. Don’t sell yourself short. If you are secure and confident in yourself, you will not see other women as a threat.  Be honest with yourself.  Figure our why some women threaten you.  Fix those things.  The problem is not other women.  The battle you fight is within.  And it is silly. Because you are every bit as beautiful as any other woman.  The only person you must convince of that is yourself.  You are amazing.  

3.  No more sexual police!

We’ve all done it. An attractive woman walks into a room and we instantly begin sizing her up. She is in shorts and heels.  Clearly, a filthy whore!  This is something we have got to end.  A woman should be able to wear whatever she wants, whenever she wants and not be labeled for it.  Heels are not symbolic of sluts.  Shorts do not define skanks.  Clothes mean nothing.  What we wear does not make us who we are.  Behavior does. If a woman chooses to engage in sex with several men, or does things we find appalling, unless she is asking us to participate, don’t concern yourself with it.  Women have different appetites.  One is not better than another.  Don’t assume your idea of sex is better than hers. We can't possibly know every woman's story.  Let’s not punish women for sexual transgressions. .  We all have our own sins.  We cannot judge situations we know nothing about.   

4.  Give all women, including yourself a chance.

Realize distancing yourself from women and making negative assumptions about them is costing you some of the best relationships in the world.  Women share an unspoken understanding. We offer each other what men cannot. No matter how many men you have in your life, you will need strong women.  Men try, but they will never fully relate to the emotions of women.    Instead of pushing women away, reach out to them. Only mothers understand the heartache of mothers.  There is a world of support and love waiting for you if you will but accept it.  Don’t be a part of cliques.  These are for insecure women who lack confidence.  And there is no reason for any woman to lack confidence.  There is no woman you cannot learn something from.  Befriend all women. 

5.  Diversity is beautiful. Embrace it!

Accept we are all different.  If we were all the same, what a dreary place this would be.  More often than not, we lash out at women who don’t do things the way we do. It is unacceptable.  We should support each other, regardless of our own beliefs.  If you don’t want to have an Elf on the Shelf, it really is simple, don’t get one.  But, please no more shaming other women, or trying to make them feel bad because they do.  What a powerful thing it would be if we stopped making other women feel bad for doing things that make them happy.  There are women who have no lust for the Priesthood Power.  There are women that do. There are women who choose to work outside of the home and many who would never consider it.  And there are women who believe vaccinations are unhealthy,  and those who swear by them.  Figure out what distresses or angers you so much about such choices. Is it quite possibly envy?  Did perhaps you want to make some of those choices, but they were not options for you?  We don’t need to convert the world to our way.  We need to love our choices. Our desire to correct other women is not coming from a place of strength. It is weakness.  

6.  Compliment other women.

When was the last time you told a beautiful girl she was beautiful? Women rarely compliment other women.  It is unfortunate.  When you see the good in a woman, express it, and do so vocally.  I assure you, your words are very much making the world a friendlier place.  The more good we find in each other, the easier it is for us to let our guards down and support one another.  It takes a very strong woman to compliment other talented, successful, or beautiful women.  But, we are strong women.  We can do this. We are capable. 

7.  It is hurting our daughters.

Our children watch everything we do. They mimic our actions.  If we continually berate other women, or feel threatened by them, our girls notice and will in turn learn the same patterns of behavior.  They pick up on insecurities.  If you hate your body, they will begin to wonder what is wrong with theirs. Don’t do it. As the mother to twin daughters, I am horrified by some of the comments I have heard as early as 6.  If we don’t change our behavior for ourselves, we must at least do it for the sake of our daughters.  They deserve sisterhood and the strength it lends. Let them experience “girl power.”  

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