Sunday, March 2, 2014

Control-Alt-Delete! Does it work on people?





Newsflash!!! I am technologically challenged! I recently upgraded to an iPhone and have experienced every type of error in the book. I've made several phone calls to my provider, and others to Apple. I've sought advice from the Facebook (I like to call it the Facebook,) and other sites. The answer I received more than any other was this, "Have you tried turning it off and then back on again?" More often than not, this little phrase works. Something about resetting the hardware seems to clear up minor problems. This advice made me think...could such advice be as helpful in our relationships?


How many times have you gone to bed with a problem that seems insurmountable? For some reason things are more difficult to deal with at night. Why is it the next morning things never seem quite as bad? A few hours of sleep seems to make everything right in the world, and if not right, at least better. As the sun rises, a new day is born, and those problems seem easier to cope. By shutting ourselves down, we awake with newly refreshed hardware, and minor glitches seem to have worked themselves out.


Is it possible to use this tactic with people? The phrase go to bed, you'll fee better in the morning is the same way of saying, "Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

We all meet people in our lives that change us forever.  It happens to all of us, and without warning. There are times, you meet someone, and it's so clear that the two of you, on some level belong together. As lovers, or as friends, or as family, or as something entirely different, in some way, you just work, Whether you understand one another, or you're in love, or you're partners in crime, there is something that fits.  You meet these people out of nowhere, under the strangest of circumstances, and they help you feel alive. Your bond is undeniable.  I don't know if that means I believe in fate, or God, or coincidence, or maybe sheer blind luck. But, it makes me believe in something.  

There is something unique about these relationships. They make us better people. Their souls encourage, uplift, and understand us in ways others never will.  We share the most intimate of experiences with them. They see us naked...literally, metaphorically, or both.  You reveal things to them that you will never again repeat to another living person.  Ever.  There are people in this life that cannot be replaced. We need them. 


Have you ever been in one of those relationships, only to have something suddenly change?  Neither of you can explain it, but suddenly, without warning, things are different. It may be something one of you said in anger, a possible misunderstanding, or something left unsaid.  You can't always pinpoint when it happened, or why things are uneasy.  But regardless of explanation, there is a tangible disconnect.  Things are awkward.  Neither of you know what to say and little things feel forced.   Nothings seems right. This friend, this person with whom you have shared so much begins to fade. And instead of trying to fix what you both know is worth fixing, for unknown reasons, you begin to withdraw.  You close the gaping wound, and try to move on, knowing full well you will never be the same person.  

Why? 

Why do we let these people go without a fight? Why do we tell ourselves they don't really matter?  We know they do.  Is it out of fear? To protect our own hearts? If these people aren't worth fighting for, what is? 


It is rare that we find people so much like ourselves.  Don't let them go.  We are all human.  It does not matter how much a person loves you, they will hurt you. People say stupid things. They do stupid things.  It happens.  

CTRL-ALT-DLT. Shut 'er down.  Have you tried turning it off and turning it back on again? Restore your settings. Do not save changes!  Start over. There is nothing to lose, and everything to gain.

You don't have to attend every argument you are invited to, but never forget--some battles are worth fighting. Friendships are worth it! Always.  





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